Coaches Are Human Too: Evaluating the Second Session with Joanna

So let's dig into Joanna, her second session. Yeah, I feel like listening. This was not a great session.We should have postponed by half an hour or something because I felt like you were running in. You weren't there necessarily yet. So I don't know. How do you feel? Because I felt like it was a really rough start.

Sorry. I've been up since 4:30 in the morning, so my brain is going to be slower today. I do apologize.It was a bit rough for me just because I've been up forever. I've been up since 4:30 in the morning and had to run and come back from a meeting. So yes, I was a little bit brain foggy. Ish.

Yeah.

Which I think is okay sometimes because I'm human too. And I think that that's really important to show our clients is that there's never a perfect scenario. There's never a perfect.Like I'm always going to be perky and focused and there every single time. Of course I want to be. And I don't want to be clutter brain. It just took me a little bit longer to pull out a sentence from my brain.

I was like in the background listening. I'm going, come on, Donna, you can do it, you can do it. Get it out. I'm just like, oh. I felt, I felt like.I don't know if you've ever had like a dream where you're running but. And in the dream you're running but you're, you're moving very slowly. That's how I felt. Like eventually you got my brain felt.

I know. And that's the thing. This is me tired. This is just me tired. And it felt excruciating in my brain.And at the same time I do hope that she got some feedback. And again, in all honesty, because I want to be honest about this, I usually sit down and review the last call and the notes and everything.I just didn't have the time to do it. Today. I've literally. It is 10:30 in the morning. I hit the ground running at 4:30 in the morning.I literally woke up and within 10 minutes I was in the car to drive my husband to an early shift just so that I can have the car for my doctor's appointment on two

ends of the world.

So it just is what it is. Like I really couldn't find fully, fully be there, unfortunately. Luckily her question. I wasn't going to get into supplements right now.I think it's just a very convoluting world and I don't want to start off the bat with that, because there's no magic pill. Like if you're continuing to, to consume certain things and you think that ashwagandha is going to save you from everything, it's not going to. Right.So I always do like to touch the basics of what does the diet look like and understand also where they're at.Because to me, one of the most important parts of the conversation that I just had with Joanna was it's very hard for her to leave out the processed foods. Which then to me says maybe it's not only once a week.

Honestly, I, I will try avoiding the processed foods, but this is, it's so difficult. This is just my, I mean, I'm aware, you know, but reading all the articles about how bad that stuff is for you.But yeah, it is, it is difficult to avoid it. So I don't see myself being super successful, like 100% non processed diet.I'm more of the camp of like, I will try to make the choice for an unprocessed food when I can. But yeah, try for maybe 80, 20 rule.

And I'm not judging. I'm not saying that she lied. I'm just saying with life, it's very hard for us to notice.Like, you sit down on a Sunday morning and you're like, when did I have processed food this week? Especially with a person who says, like, my memory is not great lately.She doesn't remember exactly how often it could be every other day and what I usually do. And I didn't feel that this was the right time to do it with her just because of the stress that she's having now. And extra stress will work.Usually a food diary is very helpful not only to me to see what's going on, but also to the person to be like, oh, look at that. Yeah, it's a little bit more frequently than I thought and that's obviously going to make a difference.So it's something that I will consider texting her on the WhatsApp group to just be like, look, this might be helpful for both of us. And now you have a whole month. So if you manage two full weeks, then that's helpful with other people.I actually tell them, you know what, just mark in your agenda on a day that you had processed food, just mark a red dot. Or if you had something that you think is processed food but is like a healthier one.Like she mentioned the, the whole wheat pasta, which I don't necessarily consider as a healthier choice, but doesn't matter. Mark. It in orange. And so it's a very small visual way for her to see. Oh, okay. No, it's not necessarily once in a while.It's actually a lot more frequently. Obviously, it's going to make a difference to my everyday function. Brain function, energy function, anything like that.

Yeah. I have a. You know, me with my gadgets and my apps. I have an app that I use and it's called a habit kit. I really like it. It's pretty simple.And I recently lost all my data because I reset my phone and didn't back this particular app up.

Yep.

One of the things that I put in my app, and this is supposed to be something that helps you create new habits, but I also do it in the negative as well, like. Like what you just said, marking when you have it. And actually one of my things is a no gluten day.Days where I don't eat bread or gluten or anything. Right. So if I don't do it, then I mark it. If I do have gluten, then I leave it empty because it's reverse almost of what you said.

Positive reinforcement. Exactly.

And say, oh, how many days have I not had gluten? And for me, it's not because I, you know, I don't have any real symptoms or anything.It's just I noticed that if I start to eat bread, I eat a lot of it. And I think that that's not a great, you know, like, I just get too into it, let's say all or nothing kind of thing.

It's hard not to. Yeah.

And by the way, I also have a poop. A poop habit. You know, did I poop today? And for all of you out there with adhd, I also have.When the last time I washed myself, and I leave this very loose as a shower, a bath or a cat bath. And I try to make sure that I do that at least three or four times a week because I don't do it every day.But I also was like, oh, last time I had it, it was like, oh, it was a shower.Anyway, I'm getting off track, but the point is, is that I think there are ways, like you just said, to quickly mark when you've had a good day or I. I'd like to say, like, your positive reinforcement. When did you have. When did the day, what you eaten that day make it really good?And when you market in something like this and you also have potentially, like, for example, brain fog day, then you can start to see very clearly, oh, I had gluten three days in a row and brain fog. And when I stop having it, I don't. And I think that that's something that's super easy to maintain because it's literally just.Yeah, you don't have to find your book. You don't have to. You always have your phone with you. Um, but yeah, I think that that would be something that maybe I could suggest to her as well.Or you could suggest to her. The only thing I think when I was listening to, and I know we already talked about this, you had your own bout of brain fog.I think if I had been in your situation, because this is often what I do when I'm listening to you coach, like, wait, how would I have done that differently or the same, Right. As two different coaches?And I think this is also the advantage of having us do this together in a way that we can discuss it afterwards so people can understand that there are different ways of doing it and that you'll get a different coaching experience with each coach, just as you do with your diet.And I think if I had been in your shoes, I would have probably asked her to give me more, like, examples of what she was talking about because she did very quick. Like, I don't remember things and I, you know, cognitively slow and a little bit of brain fog.

I've been thinking a lot about attention span and memory and recall. I was wondering if maybe we could

talk a little bit about that, how

to kind of optimize those things. I think there's like a lot of conversation now around people being diagnosed lately with late stage adhd.I never felt like I had that before, but let me tell you, after the kids and the work and everything going on, I kind of feel that. And I was just wondering if you have any tips. I'm about to increase my workload by 20% in order to get everything done.At the end of the day, feel like I need to be better with my time management and more focused. And I would love to get back to the sort of ability for deep work and information recall that I had pre children.I don't know if that's possible, but I would love to hear your tips and trips if we can maybe look at that today.Because I'm feeling very nervous about increasing my workload and I want to, of course, show them that I can do it and I can do a great job and that I've got this.

I think I would have asked her for specific situations where this has happened. Number one, to allow you more time for your brain to catch up and get inside the door.But also having her as the client process the situations of which she was in also helps her identify for herself common threads which could be also contributing factor to cognitive brain fog and stuff like that. So I think that was the only thing. But she did mention ADHD and you know, she doesn't think she has adhd. And this is something we talk about a lot.And this is why I wanted to bring it up because I feel like it is more likely that people are getting more diagnosed because it's been accepted as something that is not just a childhood issue and that adults also suffer still from symptoms of adhd.But my point is that there was a doctor in Canada, never can remember his name, probably should have it tattooed somewhere because I talk about him enough and he's like, listen, almost everybody has these issues of being distracted, of not focusing, of hyper focus, you know, every symptom. And I'm using air quotes that a person with ADHD has. I would say people without ADHD also experience those things. This is what he said.The problem is, is when it cripples your life, when your life.

When it affects two parts of life.

Exactly. So I just wanted to point that out because I think people can watch videos on social media, YouTube, read articles and they can relate to that.They can say, oh, I feel like that. Yes, because they, everybody does.It's just, does it affect your life enough that you should be diagnosed with ADHD so you can get remediation, you know, therapy, medical therapy, whatever. Right. Support for that. So I just wanted to point that out because she was very, I think she's very clear.She's like, I feel like I have that, but I don't have that. Like, I know I don't have that, but I feel like I identify with that.

And it's funny because she did mention it a couple of times. And I think it's just, you know, the things that I have to think about when someone mentions that is a. It's all over social media nowadays.And also the dialogue around it's being over diagnosed, it's being over, blah, blah. And I'm like, no, it's just finally being seen and understood a little bit more.But I don't think that I ever told my clients, like, you should probably get diagnosed, there could be adhd. I'm not here to diagnose her. But there could be. And that could be a struggle because if she's hitting perimenopause, we're seeing it a lot now.That women, I mean, just because of the hormonal changes, just because of the, just all the changes that go through the body. Yeah, your ADHD is accentuated. It's like just on freaking steroids. It just is.So you might not have noticed it before and now you notice it and you're like, but I'm not ADHD. And it's like, well, maybe you are, babe.

On TikTok the other day, actually, I wish you were on TikTok again because there's so many things I want to send you. But this like, lady was like, okay, we're rebranding perimenopause and menopause. Have you heard this? They're rebranding it to cougar puberty.

Oh my God, I'm gonna start using it. I know.

Isn't that. Because it's perfect?You know, we talked about recently, we talked about your boys on the, on your burnout episode, about how they were going through puberty and their. They're identity. Identity crisis. Your brain is under construction.And I think that cougar puberty, although I don't really like the term cougar in general, but I get the idea. Like, I would, I would call it like, yeah, whatever. I, maybe I would brand it a little differently, but cougar puberty, plus, that's hard to say.Cougar puberty.

No. Yeah, it's a bit of a time.

It is a bit of a time twister.I think it really does hit the nail on the head when it comes to women because it's clear that most women also come through perimenopause and on the other side of menopause as like super powerhouse women that are ready to the world over and watch out, right? And I.But that, that period of whatever, five to 10 years where it could be, as long as that you're kind of in this zone where you can't even think about the right words to put together. There's also, there's also this other lady, a British lady who does a fantastic sketch about perimenopause.Her perimenopause version of herself has got like sunglasses and makeup is all horrible. And she's just, she's just a mess, right? And then she always, she pops into the put together. I think I've told you about this lady.She pops into the put together ladies world and just up her life. And the, the sketch is absolutely fantast. The other one I just saw the other day was like 3 o' clock in the morning.And Perry menopause Opens the door and turns on the lights like, wake up, lady, wake up. And she's like, what are you doing here? Why do I have to wake up? She goes, because I said so.And she just smokes her cigarette and drinks her thing and walks out the door.

I mean, it's true, but I just

love the fact that, you know, I love the fact that people are being able to create these kind of sketches that brings awareness in a humorous way that that really happens. Why do we have to wake up at three o' clock in the morning every night for two hours and not, you know, and then contributes.That itself contributes to the brain fog that, that you were talking about.

Exactly.

Not just the food that she's eating, you know.

No, and that's the thing.That's why I met, I made sure to mention to her, I was like, look, you can eat, have a perfect quote, unquote, but if you haven't slept well, you're not going to be, you know, your brain is not going to function. So there's so many contributing factors that we need to keep in mind every single day. And it's very hard. You know, that was not a rare question.I get that asked all the time, like, how do I measure this?

Oh yeah.

When do I see a difference? You know, how do I know that this has worked or not worked?

So do you expect that this will help with the memory stuff and concentration, popping out these meals? Maybe. Let me, let me rephrase.Let's work off the assumption that, you know, being a healthy meal will have an impact on my short term memory and my concentration.

What is the time span?

I want to be looking at that for an effect.

Look, making your diet better is going to be beneficial to you whether the brain fog is better or not. But there's no way for me to promise certain changes in a certain amount of time. It's just impossible. It really is impossible.And I think to reiterate that on a regular basis and make them understand, make everyone understand, like no one has a magic pill. No one has a magic way of doing things.You can follow all of Huberman's things of when to wake up, how to go, you know, how much sunlight, how to eat, how to walk, whatever, whatever, whatever. But if your cortisol is high and your high stress levels, you're not going to be a healthier person.You're not necessarily going to feel a lot of changes. So it's a lot. It's, it's, it. I've talked about this ad nauseam on this podcast, but see, now my brain is waking up and she's gone already.I've talked about this ad nauseam, but we need to understand that there's not one way and that there are so many contributing factors to every single person. And to figure all of those out, you gotta have a lot of money. You just do.You just have to go through all the tests, sit at the doctor, a good doctor often enough and do everything perfectly and just. That's not life. It's not. It doesn't work that way.So we're just all kind of trying to do our best in clinging on to dear life and going through perimenopause at the same time.

Joy. All right.

Okay. So we will see next time what goes on with Joanna after a month. They'll see you in the next one, Donna.

All right. Bye, Megan.

Bye.