When Tracking Becomes the Trap: Evaluating the Third Session with Joanna

Hey, Donna, welcome back.

Hey, Megan. How's it going? Good.

So in this section, we're going to talk a little bit about your third session with Joanna. So before I ask any questions, like, what were your thoughts about that session as the coach?

I was happy that I was more.

Awake than last time, so that was.

A win for me. But I think it was a great session. I think Joanna came in. It felt to me like she came in A, with a lot of knowledge and B, with a lot of.Like, she was itching to get going, which, as I mentioned on the call with her, could sometimes be to a fault.But if we do it in a way that is sustainable and not just like, you know, going crazy and then giving up after five minutes, then it can actually work really well. And I feel like she's really, really on the right track. So, A, we were lucky that her work had that project. Really lucky, honestly.And that she had those realizations relatively quickly since we started working together. So we still have time to work and adjust, and you can see it and you can hear it. She's doing really well. She's doing her best, and I love that.She was like, look, we got stuck with a car. We had ice cream for dinner. It is what it is. And I was like, good, because, yes, you made the best choice for yourself in that moment.And that's always going to be better than either not having it and then going home and just binging because you feel miserable or kicking yourself for days afterwards, like, I ruined everything, you know, that kind of mentality. So I think her.

Her.

How should I say this without sounding stupid? Like her men. Her. Her mental state is a very healthy one to help her to move forward. Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Yeah. No, it does. She's approaching it with a good mindset.

Yeah, exactly.

One thing I noticed, though, that it seemed as a listener outside of the conversation, the whole food logging thing seemed like there was a little bit of miscommunication or misunderstanding or not understanding. So from my perspective, and I. So, you know, I have to, like, really keep. Keep myself from typing into the chat.Like, no, this is practicing my self control.But from my point of view, it sounded like she was trying to find a good way to do the food logs because you asked her to do the food logs and then you're challenging her on, well, why are you doing this?

I know Megan was saying she's, you know, weighing things in the kitchen all the time. And, you know, it might be worth it for me to just spend kind of a Week. Like. Like weighing out, you know, how much yogurt fits in my favorite bowl.

And I'm like, well, because you asked her to, Donna. You asked her to do the food log, and she was trying to come up with a method of doing the food log, and then.

Oh, you mean the weight? Do you mean the weigh?

Yeah, well, yeah, because she was trying to come up with, like, she knew that she wasn't going to weigh everything as she was doing it. So for her, she was like, okay, what are, like, the five default foods I eat all the time?I'll weigh them once or twice, and then I'll just know so I don't have to weigh it each time, but I can still do the food log. And when I say a bowl of yogurt, it means it's a, you know, 200 grams or 150 grams of yogurt. So that was like. I was like, what's going on here?I like. Cause then you were challenging her, and I could feel like. Like I wasn't watching you too.I was just listening, but I could, like, hear the silence in her brain going, why is she asking me this? She asked me for the food log, so I don't know, was that the same, like, what was going on in that no situation?

So again, as I explained it to her, I wanted to know what. Where that's coming from. Why do you want to weigh your food? Because it sounded like it would be a hard task for her to do. And she did mention that.She was like, you know, maybe I'll find once a week where I can actually do that. And I was like, no, but that's not priority. And if you're weighing your potato chips, then we're doing it wrong. Do you see what I mean?Like, for me, and this is true for every client that I work with, for me, the quality is more important than the quantity. And only when we have an ideal, let's say, diet intake, and still things are not necessarily moving in the right direction.And it doesn't matter if it's health related or weight related. Only then do I say, okay, now we're at the next step.Because as I sussed her out before and as I noticed and she actually confirmed it at the call today, it. There's a lot of, like, I'm gonna do a lot, and then I'm losing the plot, and then I'm looking for the next thing.

I don't like to just, like, change everything all at once and then, like, go back to my old habits. I like to Sort of change, play around, like, with one variable, let's say, and. And try that for a while.But I get a bit frustrated when I don't see results after like, two, three weeks. And then I'm like, okay, well, obviously, like, that wasn't the thing. So I don't know. Go back to the drawing board, try something else.

And she was looking for changes within two weeks. That's never gonna happen. Unless, again, you shift 180 your diet, you're starting to work out like crazy. You're, you know, whatever, whatever.Like, two weeks is not enough. Two weeks is not enough to just say, okay, I'm having a little bit less processed food.Because as you heard at the end, she's still having that processed food, and it's still a struggle for her.So as long as that stuff is in there, I'm not going to blame the extra cup of yogurt that she's having with granola, like, with healthy stuff, because there are other things that are actually at play. If those foods were not in there and what the is going on, why are things not shifting?Then I would look at the quantity, but usually I don't even have to look at the quantity. I mean, with. I think there was maybe and. And we're talking about over a decade of clients.I think I can count maybe two clients that really had to really. Portion control.

Yeah, yeah, and you mentioned you.

You.

So first of all, I need to clarify. I do not weigh my food all the time. I do spot checks.There might be two weeks, every couple of months where I weigh my food because something has shifted or not shifted or whatever. And I'm like, I get a bug in my bonnet and I weigh my food. So that's typically. I just want to put that out there.I am not weighing my food every single day. Right. However, I do notice when I do weigh my food, like she said, I do always put, like, a quarter cup of milk in. I do the.You know, like, I do what she said that she does. I realize that I do the same amount of things all the time.And at least with the app that I use, which is called Lose It, I can actually pre program that in. If I know I'm going to have the same coffee every morning. Sure.I can actually put that in as a repeated meal and just check it off when I have it, or I can go in and edit it later, which I think is a fabulous idea if you're a repeat user of coffee. I also have to say that I am probably the outlier with the volume. Because I do home cooked food. I don't eat a lot of processed food.And I know for a fact that I overeat because I enjoy eating my food.

Sure.

And it's more calories than I need for the amount of activity and metabolism that I need for the day. So for me, portion control is super important because I don't need to have as much food as I'm eating. So I, I get it.I get a little bit more of her analytical brain.

Yeah.

Of wanting to have some data behind that. But I also completely understand what you're saying of like, yeah, let's, let's not lose the forest through the trees type of thing.

Exactly. It was just too early. It's too early to look into that when there are other things at play.

Yeah.

And I didn't want her to go into the same pattern that she was talking about before where every two weeks I'm trying this new thing because nothing is shifting. Just the stress around that is going to inhibit her from losing weight.When talking to clients, I always have to remember what type of person I'm talking to. And if I know that that person is just going to get. And unfortunately that's me.So it's easier for me to also relate to it, to just do whatever the fuck I can and then just, you know, like, just go crazy. Like pre Burnout Donna, where you literally lose the forest from all the trees, then I have to be very cautious about that.And as I said, for me, it would not help. It would not help to know how much yogurt she's having.If she's also having the processed coffees in the fridge section or like sweetened yogurts or whatever. Whatever.

Yeah.

I think it's a bit creepy.

I just did see that. You know, I just saw that kind of.

I know. I love challenging her.

Her confusion of why is she asking me this? She asked me for the food log. So I was glad that you went through the explanation. But it was definitely.So I think when we're in a coaching environment, because that's what we're doing is we're trying to explain how coaching works.It is challenging sometimes to understand how someone ticks, you know, and to understand the right way to say something, the right way to explain something.And so for everyone who's listening, who might eventually work with a coach, you just need to be very clear when you're not clear on something, you know, like, I don't understand why you're asking me this.

Sure.

I think a lot of times, as we've talked before, even on, like, patient advocacy, you know, sometimes people are nervous or intimidated to challenge an authority figure, and in this case, the coach is the authority figure, even though we don't like to come across that way, but it is that way because we're helping someone.

Right.

And so I would say anybody who's going to be in a coaching environment and remember the coaches, you know, is giving you a service. So, like, like anything, you need to make sure you're getting the service that you asked for.And if it's not working for you in whatever way, either if it's not clear or if you don't understand or whatever, you need to be completely open and honest and be like, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Yeah, 100%.And by the way, one more thing that I wanted to, to mention, I was provoking those questions and asking her, because if, if her answer would have been, like, it would help me. It would, you know, like, if it was back to her, then I would be like, okay, great.If that makes you sleep better at night, and that would be helpful information for you, cool. But she was saying that it would help me.

You, Donna.

Me as Donna? Yes. Well, let me ask you a question, though. How would that help you?

Well, just to say, if you write down versus taking a picture, like, I can write down a bowl of yogurt, and if I would show it to you. You don't know if I mean, a soup bowl, a salad bowl, you know what we're talking about, like, pot of yogurt, big, small.So just to make it a little bit more precise.

Okay. And then so if, well, I don't know.

So this is my. If I would give it to you, and then you would say like, oh, this is great. This is not so great.I don't know what you, I, I, I didn't have the food log to give to you, so I don't know what you would do with one. If I would give it to you.

Yeah.

And that's where I was like, okay, I don't need you to put more stress and pressure on yourself for something that won't necessarily help me, not, not in this moment anyways. And the same goes for the recipes. She goes, kudos to you, Donna, for me making the recipes. I'm like, why kudos to me?I didn't do anything, you know, sent.

You a link I wanted to report back to you because I did make two of your recipes from your booklet, and they were well received all around. So kudos to you. Yeah, we really liked. It was the peanut butter curry with lime and the quinoa chili. Oh, nice.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Excellent.

It's not kudos to me. It's kudos to you. You made it. I just.

That's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, we did it. So I hope to make a couple more recipes.

Yeah, I was like, you did the recipes? And that aha. Moment. The first one, like, oh, yeah, true. You know, and patting yourself on the back for that. I think that's.That's really important because I'm like, yeah, I am doing. I am. Yeah. I'm not. Not doing anything. Obviously, I'm getting paid for a service, but, like, I'm just helping you and holding your hand.You're doing the hard work, so don't give me the credit for it. Like, I'm helping you to move forward. I'm not doing anything extraordinary. You're doing all the hard work.

Basically. You're holding her hand as you both walk down the street. You're not carrying her. She still has to use her two legs.

Yeah. And if she sees a car coming to ram into her, she needs to move out of the way.So I think it is really important for people to understand, like, getting a coach to work with you doesn't mean that they're doing the hard work. You're going to do the hard work, and you have to choose how hard it is for you.And you have to know how you will deal with an overload of goals and projects that now are added into your life because of working with a coach. And you need to know when it's too much and when it's not enough.So at the end of the day, yeah, a good coach will kind of feel you and suss it out and just kind of be like, okay, maybe this is a little bit too much for you.And there are coaches out there, unfortunately, which I literally had clients come to me after working with these coaches who said, okay, we're working for three months together. In those three months, you're gonna do a food blog. You're gonna weigh all your food. You're gonna start working out. You're gonna da, da, da.And all of these changes, and people just feel overwhelmed.And even if they manage to do what the coaches are motivating them to do in such a short amount of time, it's very quickly going to go back to old habits because it's just not long enough and not sustainable enough in a way that it. Yeah. That. Let's Just say that like maybe 1% of people can actually, I was going.

To say yes and no.

Yeah.

I think it, it, it really all comes down to individual person because I also have a friend who did that after each of her pregnancies. She worked with the nutritionist who put her on a strict diet and it worked. She lost the baby weight, she kept it off her most of the time.And I think for her she needed that regimen. She needed to follow a plan. And I think some people think they need that.

Yeah.

Because it works for some people.

Yeah.

But like everything, it might not work for you.So if you need, for me it works like, but for short term things, if I want to do an elimination diet to see if my skin gets better when I'm not drinking milk. Okay. I know exactly how to do that and I know I'm not going to do it forever, but I'm going to just test or whatever.But then it's important for me to have a plan like, okay, that's what you're going to eat and you're not going to.Because I rely so much heavily on dairy in my diet, I would need to have a plan in order to avoid eating dairy because it is such a big part of my diet.

Sure.

So, but yeah, I mean, I, I, it always goes back to, and we say it probably in every single episode. It depends on the person.

It definitely does. And do you know how I, I know who I'm working with is like they get the menu plan. If the next menu plan, right, it's recipes.It's not really a menu plan. We're not meant to give menu plans. But it's just, I give this idea of like, here's a bunch of recipes, here's how your day could look like.And if a person comes up to me and they're like, I totally switched my life and have been doing your menu plan for the last two weeks, then you know it's that person who needs exactly what you're talking about. She came back after a month and said, we tried two recipes, which is amazing. Don't get me wrong, I'm stoked about it.But she's not that person who will now completely shift everything. It's just impossible. Especially with, you know, three kids and a full time job and everything like that. So, yeah, yeah.

And this one was especially tough because as you mentioned, it's been a month since you've talked to her.So I am going to be very interested to see how the next sessions go because with this one we are about halfway through, but the next ones will be coming in every two weeks, so it'll also be interesting to see how she progresses. And I think we'll have to leave it there for Joanna's third session review. And we'll see you next time.

Bye, Megan.