What If You Just… Let Them? The Mel Robbins Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

Manouchka: Hey Boss Mama. Welcome back to the show. This is the space where ambitious moms come to talk business, motherhood, and what it really takes to stop doubting and start executing. I am your host, Manouchka Elefant, and I use my 15 years in marketing to help mompreneurs grow with more clarity, strategy, and accountability.

Today’s episode is all about adopting a mindset that serves us in letting go of our need for control.

Let me ask you this. Have you ever stressed about how you’re showing up on social media? Or what people might think about your kid being covered with applesauce? Or maybe you found yourself micromanaging every little detail in your business because it feels like no one else can do it quite like you?

Today, we’re diving into the Let Them mindset, inspired by Mel Robbins’s latest book.

If you’re not familiar with Mel Robbins, she’s a best-selling author and motivational speaker who shares practical strategies to help people live better lives. Her work is honest, no-nonsense, and so applicable to us mompreneurs.

In this episode, I’ll share what the Let Them philosophy is all about, why it’s so relevant to mom entrepreneurs, and how you can apply it to your life and business to create more freedom, joy, and balance.

Manouchka: So let’s start with the basics.

The Let Them philosophy is all about letting go of control. Letting others make their own decisions, live their own lives, and be who they are without us trying to manage or micromanage everything.

Mel Robbins talks about how much energy we waste trying to control things that aren’t ours to control.

The truth is, we only have power over three things, and that is what you do, what you say, and how you respond to things that happen around you.

Everything else? It’s outside your control.

And as mompreneurs, we already carry so much between raising kids, running a business, managing our household, and trying to find time for ourselves. The Let Them mindset reminds us to stop carrying what isn’t ours. And that is just so powerful.

The reason why I wanted to bring this up today is that when you’re a mom entrepreneur, especially if you’re working solo from home, it can feel like everything is on your shoulders. You’re responsible for your kids, your business, your home, and even how you show up for yourself and for your business.

So the pressure is really strong.

And here’s where the Let Them mindset can help us.

If we let our kids do things for themselves, simple things like pick up their outfits, even if it’s a tutu and rain boots...

And if we let other people think what they will about us and what we do for our business, even if it’s about our Instagram videos...

What matters is not what they think about it.

And even if it feels cringe, who cares? What matters is what we think about it. Do we like it? Do we feel like we’re putting our best foot forward? Are we serving our business?

And the Let Them mindset can also help us with our partner or husband or parents. Let them do things in their own way because most of the time, it doesn’t really matter.

It matters to them if it makes them happy that way, but it doesn’t make a difference for us. Like, just let them.

For example, I don’t really like the way my partner loads the dishwasher, but it doesn’t matter. It’s fine. He puts things in a really weird fashion, but that’s okay. And he loves to vacuum all the time. He does it in his own style and it won’t make a difference to me.

So I should just let go of those little things.

And by letting go of control, I free myself from the constant stress of trying to manage it all.

Manouchka: Mel Robbins’s theory reminds us that while we can’t control others, we can control three powerful things. And that is what you do, what you say, and how you respond.

So, what you do.

Think about how you’re spending your time. Are you focusing on things that actually move the needle in your business and bring you joy? Or are you wasting energy trying to perfect something that doesn’t really matter?

For example, for us as mom entrepreneurs, instead of spending hours editing a social media post, how about we just hit publish and trust that our message will resonate? As long as we’re doing our best and using our expertise, there’s no reason why our messaging will be wrong.

Trust in yourself.

And then, what you say.

Words are powerful. Are you speaking kindly to yourself? Are you setting clear boundaries with others?

So the next time that someone offers unsolicited advice about your parenting or business, just kindly but firmly say, “Thank you for your input, but I’m doing what works best for me.”

And then third, how you respond.

Life is full of curveballs, especially when you’re a mom and a business owner. So how you respond makes all the difference.

Like this week, I was planning to have childcare as usual on Monday and Tuesday. These are the two days that I know I can depend on my child carer, but unfortunately her kids were all sick. All three kids.

So obviously I had to shift my plans.

And did I take it in stride? Yes, I did. Because I knew that if I started stressing out, it wouldn’t help me in any way whatsoever.

So right now, I’m actually using nap time to record this episode. And normally, I would have done things completely differently, but I’m making the most of what I have because that’s what I can control.

So if you’re in a situation where your child interrupts your Zoom call or a client cancels a meeting at the last minute, instead of spiraling, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you can’t control everything, but you’re going to do the best with what you can actually control.

Manouchka: Let’s take this and make it practical for our life and business.

Here are four practical ways that you can embrace the Let Them mindset as a mompreneur.

Number one, audit your expectations.

Take a moment to reflect on where you’re holding on too tightly. Are you trying to control how others are seeing you on social media? Are you feeling guilty about not meeting impossible standards?

Then let go and let them.

Second, focus on progress, not perfection.

Let go of the idea that everything has to be flawless. Remember, done is better than perfect, especially when you’re running a business and raising kids.

So let go and let them.

Third, set boundaries with love.

Learning to say no is a game changer. You don’t have to do everything for everyone all the time, even with your own kids.

So let go and let them.

Fourth, allow others to learn and grow.

Whether it’s your husband, your kids, or people you partner with, give them the space to figure things out on their own. They’re also allowed to have their own experiences, and you don’t have to drive yourself crazy trying to get them to do things right all the time.

So let go and let them.

Manouchka: Most of my life, I felt like I wasn’t typical.

When I was a teen, I changed continents for my studies. Then when my friends started getting married and having kids, I was living in Asia for my master’s degree and partying it up. Then, when they were settling into their careers, I was moving to Singapore to start my own career.

I’ve always been marching to the beat of my own drum.

Yet for a long time, and as most humans do, I cared what others might think.

Thankfully, over the years, I just let go of that fear. The more I grew confident from my experiences, and the more my character got stronger...

But really, it wasn’t until I experienced motherhood that I fully understood what letting go meant.

One of the beautiful side effects of motherhood, at least for me, has been to stop giving a rat’s ass about what others might think.

Already during pregnancy, I had a very clear idea of what I wanted, aka a natural birth. I respect others’ opinions and experiences, but that was something that was really important to me. And from that moment on, when others tried to influence me, I just let them speak, but then kindly put them back in their place.

After all, this was my experience, my pregnancy, and my child.

They can have the best of intentions, but I was the decision-maker. And frankly, that was empowering and freeing.

And I started feeling this mindset ripple in other areas of my life, with my family, with my mom, and most of us know that there are some interesting shifts in our relationship to our own mom when we welcome our first child, but that’s a whole other topic.

And so I think that’s why Mel Robbins’s Let Them theory resonated with me so much. Because I consciously decided to just let them have their own opinions, but I would still do it my way anyway, like I always have.

Manouchka: All that to say, when you embrace the Let Them mindset, here’s what happens.

You feel less overwhelmed because you’re not trying to control everything.

You’ll have more time and energy for what truly matters to you.

You’ll set a powerful example for your kids about how to prioritize, set boundaries, and trust others.

Imagine spending less time worrying about what people think or whether things are perfect, and more time actually enjoying the process, whether it’s growing your business, spending time with your family, or taking care of yourself.

So there you have it.

Thanks for spending time with me today, Boss Mama. I hope this episode inspires you to embrace the Let Them mindset and start letting go of what’s not serving you.

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with another mompreneur who could use this reminder.

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Until next time, Boss Mama, you’ve got this.