Thriving with ADHD: Messy Truths, Real Solutions, and Why My Husband Still Thinks It’s an Excuse 🙃

Here’s the truth: living with ADHD isn’t just about remembering where you put your damn keys. It’s about navigating relationships, routines, work, parenting, and an endless stream of side quests… all while trying not to spiral into guilt or overwhelm. Sound familiar?

In this episode of So Frickin’ Healthy, Danna and I sat down with the brilliant and wildly insightful Kelly Brändli, ADHD coach, mom, and partner of a late-diagnosed ADHDer, to talk about the everyday realities of ADHD—and how to actually thrive with it.

🚨 ADHD & Relationships: The “SRR Cycle” Explained

Let’s start with the biggest relationship wrecker Kelly sees in her coaching practice: the Symptom–Response–Response cycle (SRR).

Basically, one partner has an ADHD symptom (say… leaving their keys somewhere random), the other responds (say… helpfully “fixing” the situation), and then BAM—a full-blown fight over something totally benign.

Oh, and guess what? Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is usually lurking behind the scenes, turning minor misunderstandings into emotional landmines.

“We’ve been here before. We’ve done this dance. Why are we still here?”
—Every ADHD couple ever

🧠 Feeling Heard vs. Just Being Loud

ADHD brains process fast, talk fast, and respond fast. Sometimes so fast the other person feels like they haven’t even been heard. Which leads to—you guessed it—repeating the same conversation for the 147th time.

Kelly’s advice? Try this sentence:

“Can you just repeat back what I said?”

It’s so simple… and weirdly powerful. You’re not asking for agreement. You’re asking for acknowledgment.

Tattoo that on my forehead, please.

🧍‍♀️ ADHD Isn’t Just Your Problem

Here’s the thing: ADHD impacts everyone in the household. If your partner doesn’t understand what’s actually going on, it’s easy for symptoms to be mistaken for laziness, selfishness, or even manipulation.

That’s why Kelly starts all her coaching with psychoeducation. Because until everyone gets what ADHD actually is (and isn’t), they’re likely to keep misinterpreting everything.

🏡 Real-Life Hacks for ADHD Homes

Kelly’s top tip? The 3 R’s:

1. Routines – Even if you get bored easily. Predictability helps manage time blindness and transitions.

2. Rituals – Little touchpoints of connection that feel good. (Her “one-minute cuddle” routine with her son is legendary.)

3. Rewards – Flip Grandma’s rule. Don’t “earn” pleasure by doing the hard thing. Use excitement to fuel motivation.

Also? Decision fatigue is real. Every time you skip routine, you’re spending dopamine. Protect that juice.

💌 The 10-Minute Challenge

To close out ADHD Awareness Month, Kelly dropped a challenge that might actually change your household:

🕒 Spend 10 minutes a day asking your partner or kids how it feels to live together.
What do they think is going on when you do X, Y, Z?
How do they interpret your behavior?
No problem-solving. No fixing. Just listening and learning.

And if your family tends to interrupt, argue, or spiral? Try a talking stick. Whoever’s holding it gets to share without interruption. Then switch.

🤯 Bonus Knowledge Bombs

• Estrogen drops = dopamine drops = ADHD meds might not work as well during PMS. (Talk to your doc about this!)

• Not everyone “has a little ADHD.” Comparing occasional forgetfulness to chronic executive dysfunction is… not helpful.

• Find your tribe. Whether it’s TikTok, a Facebook group, or a local support circle—being seen is healing.

🧠 Final Word from Megan

ADHD isn’t a vibe. It’s not a punchline. It’s a neurotype—and living with it takes strategy, self-awareness, and a lot of compassion (especially when your partner thinks you’re using it as an “excuse”).

But it’s also not the enemy. Understanding how your brain works is the first step toward building a life that actually works for you.

Start with the 10-minute challenge. Find your rhythm. And remember, you don’t have to do this alone.

🎧 Listen to the full episode on [Spotify / Apple / YouTube]
💌 Got ADHD? Got thoughts? Leave us a voice memo—we love hearing from you.

🔖 Hashtags:

#ADHDLife #ThrivingWithADHD #NeurodivergentSupport #RelationshipsAndADHD #ExecutiveDysfunction #Psychoeducation #MentalHealthAwareness #SoFrickinHealthy #ADHDFamily #10MinuteChallenge #ADHDCoach #ADHDAwareness