So... Do I Have ADHD or Am I Just a Hot Mess?

Raise your hand if you’ve ever asked yourself: “Is this just how I am... or do I maybe have ADHD?” 🙋🏻‍♀️

Yep. Been there. Lived there. Almost bought real estate there.

In this episode of So Frickin’ Healthy, Megan and I bring back ADHD coach Kelly Brändli to help us unpack that exact question. We’re talking self-assessments, what a real diagnosis looks like, the hidden emotional cost of getting (or not getting) diagnosed, and why so many adults are only just figuring this out now.

If you’ve ever felt like the world was screaming “just try harder” while you’re over here running on fumes and still forgetting your keys—this one’s for you.

🧠 The First Step (And No, It’s Not Googling Your Symptoms at 2am)

Start with a proper ADHD self-assessment—the real ones, not the 5-question “are you quirky?” quizzes. Kelly recommends the one on the ADHD UK site (linked in the episode notes). It’ll give you a realistic starting point.

And yes, I made my husband take it with me.
And yes, I death-stared him when he answered “yes” to losing keys. Often. Daily. Chronically.

😬 But Don’t We All Do That Sometimes?

Here’s the thing—everyone forgets their wallet once in a while. That doesn’t mean they have ADHD. But if you:

• Forget it more than 96% of the population

• Struggle across multiple areas of life (work, relationships, home)

• Have had these patterns for at least 6 months

…then yeah, that’s probably something more than just being “a bit scatterbrained.”

🧪 Getting Diagnosed: The Real Deal

Kelly broke down what the diagnosis process actually looks like:

• Questionnaires (for you, your partner, your boss, your teacher—whoever sees your daily chaos)

• Cognitive assessments and executive function tests

• Clinical interviews to understand how ADHD impacts your actual life

Also? ADHD symptoms can show up wildly differently in different people. One kid’s bouncing off the walls, the other’s hyper-focusing and zoning out. Both can have ADHD. Mind = blown.

😢 The Emotional Aftermath of a Diagnosis

Let’s talk about what no one warns you about: the gut punch of getting diagnosed later in life.

I was 24 when I got mine—and even then, it was this weird cocktail of relief, frustration, and grief. Like, “Wait... I wasn’t lazy? I wasn’t a failure? I actually needed help?” Cue the tears.

Now imagine you’re 40 and realizing your entire life might have been different if someone had just figured this out sooner. Yeah. That’s a lot to sit with.

🚫 Barriers Are Real—and They Suck

• Long wait times (hello, 12-month waiting lists 😩)

• Limited ADHD specialists in many countries

• Stigma from schools, workplaces, or even family

• And sometimes... not wanting to open that Pandora’s box because you know it might mean facing your own neurodivergence

Kelly said it best: “You don’t need to wait for a diagnosis to start making changes.” Coaching, lifestyle shifts, sleep, movement—those can all start now.

🧡 My Favorite Part

Kelly shared the story of her own family’s diagnosis journey—her sons, her partner, even herself. Spoiler alert: she and her partner went through the testing process together like ADHD superheroes.

And when he finally got diagnosed? His friends were like, “Duh, we’ve known for years.” (If that’s not the most ADHD man response ever, I don’t know what is.)

🗣️ Danna’s Real Talk Moment

ADHD isn’t just about losing your keys or not finishing to-do lists. It’s about living in a world that wasn’t built for your brain—and then blaming yourself when you can’t keep up.

Getting a diagnosis (or even just exploring the idea) is about validating your experience. And maybe, finally, putting down the guilt that you’ve carried for years.

🎧 Want more? Listen to the full episode on [Spotify / Apple / YouTube]
💌 Questions for Kelly? Drop us a voice note or slide into our DMs—we’re doing one more ADHD Q&A episode with her soon!

🔖 Hashtags:

#IsItADHD #ADHDDiagnosis #NeurodivergentVoices #LateDiagnosisADHD #SoFrickinHealthy #MentalHealthSupport #ADHDAwareness #ADHDWomen #ExecutiveDysfunction #HealthPodcast #KnowYourBrain