Grief, Interrupted: An Inside Look at Health Coaching - Session 2 Tina

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Hey, Tina, how's it going?

What's new and good?

Hmm.

Um, it's, uh, it's, I dunno, uh, the last couple of days.

Not so well to be honest.

Um, yeah.

Uh, Friday I learned that my grandmother passed away, um, who was

Danna Levy Hoffmann: I'm sorry.

with, thank you.

She had been diagnosed with end stage pancreatic cancer.

not sure if I mentioned it that

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Hmm,

in the, the health form and this that I filled out.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: hmm.

Um, and then.

Days before it was kind of clear, you know, that it's gonna happen soon.

So I was, actually quite distracted.

And then, um, yeah, and then, and then, so basically, um, when I saw the, when I

saw my day, like, know, my, my, my base meeting of today, uh, sorry, I can't even.

Speak properly anymore.

So

Danna Levy Hoffmann: No, don't worry.

and then, and then saw that what kind of meetings I have

today, I remembered, ah, okay.

I switched it.

You know, I remembered it was

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Hmm.

this week it's a Monday and not a Wednesday.

And then I was like, oh no, I had homework.

I had so many homework.

So, um, I didn't follow up on the journal and probably didn't do so

well because my pants are kind of getting sloppy there Probably lost a

bit of weight, in a way I wanted to.

So, and else?

didn't an appointment with the doctor that you recommended, but I did do the

online registration today at least, and I called the office um, left a voice note.

Said, I would like to schedule an appointment, so I, least

I did this, so I'm, I'm not, I didn't fail completely, so.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: No, honestly, you didn't fail at all.

You can never fail.

It's life and we have shit tossed at us from all direction all the time.

And whatever you manage to do, especially at a time like that when you lost a

loved one and you know, it's, it's hard.

It's difficult.

It's not easy to continue functioning when.

When you know someone who is dear to you is gone, so please don't be hard

on yourself and, and allow yourself to cry and allow yourself to feel all

the feels and whatever else has been on your to-do list, can fucking wait.

Okay?

Yeah, of course.

It's sometimes hard to with it when everything happens all at once

and it kind of also, I'm not even sure if it's the right word, but kind of.

Reignited, but more in a negative way, like resurface some childhood trauma

as well, you know, because not that my grandma was a lovely person, but,

um, yeah, I just still resurfaced a lot of feelings I buried deep down

and I'm dealing with at the moment.

And yeah.

as you know, my, um, my parents and.

All my other ancestors, they come from, they come from Asia.

they have, Asian and I therefore have Asian origins.

And grew up in a household where.

it was always a very hard cut While I was at home.

We were like this Asian family, you know, like very strict, and you do this and you

do that and la la la and you don't ask why you don't, you know, you don't say no, you

just do what I tell you, blah, blah, blah.

I, looking back, I, I don't think, of course it was not so bad and

so dark as I just describe it.

Sorry.

But

and a nutshell was quite, it was of course also, I was loved and everything,

but I, for me, it was a bit, uh, hard.

The hard part was how different it was to the outside world.

So whenever I left the house and I went to.

school like this European Western school, everybody, you could feel easily that

the other kids were raised differently.

They, they just seemed so much more carefree and most of them didn't

have to do so many chores as I did.

I, I always had to look after my little brother and stuff, and, um,

had to do so many things at home.

Then when I told my mom that my grandmother on my biological

father's side has had passed away.

She was also very sorry and sad to hear and she was, you know,

giving me this emotional support.

And at the same time, she has this Asian traditions so deep in her bones.

She was basically telling me, don't cry.

and I was like, why?

Yeah, don't cry because your grandmother is like, her spirit is

leaving this, place and, and you are kind of blocking her farewell.

Like she's on a journey now, and if you cry, you will kind of hold

her spirit back kind of thing.

And I was like, oh my God.

and then I was trying so hard not to I mean, I did cry

because I don't think you can.

Because I, my rational me knows I shouldn't bury it,

I shouldn't suppress it.

and another friend of mine who lives here, who also has the same origins like me,

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Mm-hmm.

she actually heard that, because she just happened to be.

Around when, my mother was on the phone said, yeah, you know, this is

kind of old traditions and actually think it's better if you let it out.

And if you don't let it out as the kind of sadness you're feeling, it will come

out as a different emotion, like anger.

Yeah.

So, so I'm kind of stuck between crying and trying not to cry and.

Thinking it's okay and then thinking it's not Okay.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah,

sorry for

Danna Levy Hoffmann: I to, I totally get that.

No, not at all.

This is, you know, this is what I love about these calls is that, we all

encounter life and it's going to happen.

It doesn't pause to wait for you to do your homework when,

you know, in between our calls.

It just doesn't happen that way.

I wish it did because that would've been so easy, but it just doesn't, and we

need to deal with, with certain things, you know, whether they're beautiful

or heartbreaking, sad, or happy.

We need to deal with them on a day-to-day basis.

And sometimes it's catches us when we're stronger and able to take it on and, and

move through the motions and the emotions and kind of come out the other end.

And whether it's okay or not, we come out the other end.

'cause we have to continue to deal with our family and deal with the kids.

And sometimes it catches us when we're super weak and

we're super, uh, vulnerable.

And I, I find that that's when it tends to be a bit more confusing and

that's when all of the noise that is surrounding us is penetrating.

Because of course your mom wanted just all the best for you, right?

And in her mind and the way that she grew up.

She was told not to cry.

I was told not to cry.

And I think what we are starting to understand our generation is

starting to understand is no, it doesn't have to be that way.

And we don't necessarily have to suppress our emotions and that

it does more damage than good.

So, you know, I'm a true believer that it manifests in different ways.

and I not, no disrespect to your mom, of course, but I

think cry as long as you can.

As long as you're able to bring yourself to cry, of course cry because

you are sad and there's no reason for you to block such a strong emotion.

To someone that was dear to you it's obviously an emotion that's sitting on

your chest and needs to come out and there's no reason to to block that off.

I learned it the hard way, but.

us avoiding a certain emotion prolongs that feeling.

'cause now we're not only feeling something, we also are dealing with

not wanting to feel it in a way.

And trying to push it away.

And it takes so much more energy than just to be like, I'm fucking sad right now.

And I'm gonna sit here and cry.

Yes, and sorry grandma, if you stick around with us a little bit longer, just

let me let it out and then, you know, she'll be with you the rest of your life.

She will be, you know, she'll be protecting you and she'll

be surrounding you and her love will be around you all the time.

And she'll move on to whatever next stage there is for her to move on to, whether

it's in a day or in a week or in a month.

it's you who are still living in your human body who needs to deal with

certain things that hopefully in the next life we don't need to deal with.

Right.

I'm really hopeful that we don't need to deal with pain and, and sadness and hurt.

And that's like the one thing I'm looking forward to it's very difficult to lose

someone that you love and I think it's, I think you are giving them the respect that

they deserve when you mourn over them.

Yeah.

I actually think so too.

It was just in

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Mm-hmm.

moment, a bit, it was so confusing for me, you know, because

I really just only felt like crying and I know that my mom just means

well, so it was a very weird.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah.

And my, and my daughter, you know, she, she can also feel it.

I mean, she is just two and a half.

But I mean, they're, little geniuses.

They're like little mega minds.

And

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yep.

empath, like they have so much empathy and they're

like very sensitive, right?

So she was, she was actually asking me if I'm sad, and I said,

yeah, you know, it's about your.

Great grandmother.

And then I was saying it out loud, I kind of stopped talking then my husband

tried to help me and then we were kind of, basically falling over our

own words and we just didn't know how to explain and if we should explain

the concept of death somehow to her.

and then we just kind of said, well, because he basically

says, yeah, your grandmother.

Is gone.

I mean, he didn't say she's dead, but he said she's gone.

And I, and I said, well, nobody is

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Really gone.

Yeah.

like, and then he was like, yeah, yeah, right.

And like, maybe let's postpone this

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah.

so on the one hand, I think it's good for my daughter to know that

I'm sad, you know, that she knows and

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Mm-hmm.

That it has a specific reason, but on the other hand, I don't know how to ex,

how am I supposed to explain it to her?

I mean, she's two, and even if she was

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah.

would, I would still be saying she's three.

You know?

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

No, it's uh, that's where Google comes in handy.

I would Google it.

I, I really would because I have no idea.

I don't remember.

I think.

You know, just trying to remember back to how I explained it to my kids.

I don't even know.

And I think the combination of you trying to explain it, fumbling on

your words and her, emotional iq.

It somehow works in their brain, like they somehow understand it, although

they don't, because as you said, they're two, they're three, they're 15.

I mean, really at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how old you are,

the first person who you lose or that someone that you love loses you feel it.

And I remember when my parents lo lost their someone that they loved and how

it impacted me and I was tiny and I didn't understand it, and somehow I did.

So I think it's more just being vulnerable around your kid and just really kind of.

Again, allowing yourself to show those emotions so that that's where

it stops, you know, so that you're not becoming, again, it's gonna

sound terrible, but like, that you're not becoming your mom, right?

That you're not pushing down those, ideas around to your daughter because

you want her to be vulnerable.

You want her to be.

able to express her emotions without being put down for it.

And I think that's even more important than fully communicating it.

because it, I don't know how a, a 2-year-old, I, I don't know how they

can understand it, especially when a family's gone, you know, far away.

Mm-hmm.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: When they're not around, you say Someone's gone.

She's like, yeah, of course.

They're gone.

They're in Germany, or they're in whatever Asia.

Right.

They, they don't, they don't really get the concept, so it's the

emotions that come tangled with it.

I think that clarify it to her more than anything, but yeah, Google it.

I really, I'm sure that someone has a genius idea

yeah.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: about how to explain death.

I think it's, yeah.

I think you're right.

I will, I will probably get some good inspiration.

I could even try chat pt. Probably the, the new

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Hmm.

and it's supposedly emotionally more intelligent.

I don't know.

Let's see.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Hmm.

maybe I

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Creeps me out, but yeah.

Yeah,

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

Yeah, it totally does.

I'm really, really sorry for your loss.

I know how it is to, to lose a loved one, I know that Israelis

are not considered Asian, but I grew up being told that I'm Asian.

So, funny enough, we have a lot of.

things that are very, very similar to the Asian culture.

I'm putting quotation mark around that.

Um, but I also grew up in the same way.

I mean, I lost a, a dear friend lately, and my mom was like, yeah, but I

mean, she didn't even say I'm sorry.

She was like, yeah, but you know, dot, dot, dot.

And I'm like, I don't understand how this just came out of your mouth,

but I do understand you, where you're coming from, Tina, and like that.

You know, they want the best for us, but they don't understand how much

harm these kind of little sentences do.

so just to take a really deep breath and just kind of like, just

let it, slide off of you and just be like, she, she means the best.

That's not the best for me in this moment.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Be proud of yourself that you did manage to do

stuff, you did manage to do stuff.

I know that, you know, I was so prepared for you to say, you know, of course I

wasn't prepared about your grandmother, but I was prepared for you to be

like, oh, I didn't send you the stuff.

And because as we remember, we talked about you sending us the, food diary.

You managed to do it for a couple of days, maybe three days.

and then not, and that is totally okay.

That is totally okay.

First of all, it did give me an idea roughly of what's going on,

but also it gave me an idea of, okay, this is also overwhelming.

This is also a bit too much at the moment, and that's okay as well.

So, you know, just just know that I'm coming in with, with empathy and

with understanding and not with like, ah, Tina didn't do her homework.

What are we gonna do today on our call?

Like, there's nothing to do because she didn't do any, no, there's none of that.

Okay.

Alright.

Yeah.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: So.

expect you To be.

Yeah.

I mean, I kind of also thought that you would be probably quite

understanding, but I still feel

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Good.

I still feel bad, you know, because it was something I, wanted to

do and then, uh, and then doing stuff last minute always gives me like kind

of a, yeah, not so comfortable feeling.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: But you did stuff

Yeah,

Danna Levy Hoffmann: so.

trying to,

Danna Levy Hoffmann: didn't, I mean like you didn't just sit for two weeks

now and not do anything at home and just lay on the sofa and doom scroll.

Right?

You were working and you were handling your family, and you were handling

your emotions and you, I don't know about you, but I need a lot of

energy to have calls with my mom.

Point blank, so

Yeah.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: So those are all things those are all doing.

And the fact that you managed today after finding out about your grandmother, and

still you sat down, you called the doctor, you filled out the form that's doing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh man.

I, I love my mother so much.

I really

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Mm-hmm.

I think she's such a, she, she came to Europe when she was 15.

She was, she's such a strong woman.

Really.

She's, she's such a fighter.

but it's like you said, I, I really, it's like roulette.

You never really know.

What kind of call you're gonna have, what kind of conversation you're gonna

have is, is it gonna be like one of those easy, you know, easy ones, or is

it gonna be those that really, really almost drive you nuts or, or do drive you

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah.

know, and I, I really sometimes very tense.

I'm like, oh, what kind of call is it gonna be today?

I mean, it was already kind of.

Her upbringing was already different from my upbringing, right?

The environment she grew

Danna Levy Hoffmann: I'm sure.

in was already very different to the one I grew up in.

We had different, like different factors, you know, acting on us externally.

And then now I live in a different country.

it's not crazy far, it's like eight to 10 hours of a train ride, but

it's still a different country.

And, um, I mean, she lives in Germany.

I live in Switzerland, and now I feel like that this is also adding on top of it a

sense that I'm becoming a bit more Swiss.

I don't know.

You know what I mean?

Danna Levy Hoffmann: I think so.

I think so.

additional cultural differences.

Because

Danna Levy Hoffmann: okay.

10 years I've been living in Switzerland.

And

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Hmm.

yeah, I dunno, just getting lost in thoughts I guess, having

thoughts like this sometimes helped me to, to, to kind of calm down and be

like, yeah, I mean, what can you do?

Or she's not gonna change, you know?

And I love her.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah,

just as a final statement.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: and that's a perfect final statement because I think that

that's what helps us to, Move forward.

I know a lot of people who, they will have a call with their mom, for example,

and they will really be just numb for a week or they cannot function because

that call shook their world yet again.

And what you're saying and what you're doing right now, I think helps you.

To move past that stage.

Right?

So it's a, I'm reminding myself how much I love her because I love her, she's my mom.

B I'm reminding myself that she, she does it because she

thinks it's the best for me.

Whatever comes out of her mouth is just pure love and pure.

I just want you to be the best that you can be.

Right.

That pressure, they don't understand.

That pressure is what drove her to be so driven at such a young age.

You know, so she thinks she's doing the same, not necessarily understanding the

cultural differences, the, you know, just the, the time that we're living in.

and I think those two statements of, she just wants the best for me and I love her.

And the third one is that she's human.

Because until a certain age, way too late, way too late in the game, I feel we think

that our parents are like near to God and all of a sudden we realize they're human.

And not only are they human, they're really not slaying

this whole adulting thing.

They're just as silly as we are and don't understand what, who, you

know, what the fuck is going on.

And then, and then you're like, oh, and soon I have to be the adult in the room.

With my parent, and I think, it's just a little bit of a mindfuck right there.

So to keep all those things in check and just be like, okay.

And then, as I said, just let it slide off of you because of all of those things.

I love her.

She's trying her best, she's doing the best that she can with the

tools that she has, and she's human.

So cool.

Thanks mom.

I love you and I need to go now.

is the process of just trying not to let it sink in too much because we've

let that sink in for too many years.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

I, I really do hope that at least in this regard, I can, I can teach my daughter

that it's totally fine, you know, to have different moods and emotions

and, that you shouldn't hide them.

So thanks.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: I think that's the most important thing that you

can do, because just like your mom, you want the best for your child.

And vulnerability, I think is one of the more beautiful things that you can provide

for her to allow, you allow her to have.

and that's just by, you know, you can't tell her just cry and not cry.

You can't tell her, like express your emotions and not do it.

They just, they, especially at these ages, they're learning by what you're doing.

And, and that's the most important.

So be vulnerable.

And I know it's really hard sometimes, again, especially when you're being

brought up, being told, don't cry.

It's really hard sometimes to get that crying out, even when you feel

like, okay, there's no one around.

I get this is a perfect time.

It's not coming out.

It's like, you know, giving birth.

And I think that's, that's where we notice how deep our culture, Trickle down.

but just allowing it when it comes, I think is very important.

And, and using the words, I'm sad, expressing the emotions

that you're going through.

With words, because sometimes we re It's really hard.

It's really difficult, you know, I'm sad, but what, what else?

Like, what are these emotions?

What's the core emotion that is pulling you down?

You know?

And if we suppress it, as you said, it's just gonna become anger, and then

everything makes you angry, and then you become this ugly person that's

always angry and that's not you.

I really don't wanna be that person . Please help me not to become that

Danna Levy Hoffmann: I know.

Oh my God.

It's like my nightmare.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: I know,

you said something very interesting, like, we see our parents as these kind

of, super humans or even like gods, you know, like God like creatures.

and then.

At some point we realized, nobody can be all knowing and all powerful and

perfect and then suddenly you, you wake up and you realize, oh, I am, I'm 37.

Geez.

It's kind of time to grow up.

No, it's like kind of you also have a child you should

maybe slowly start growing up.

And then the other day I was somewhere in public transportation and then

somebody was saying something, look, we can ask the adult over there.

and then I was turning around.

I was like, who, where, who?

You know, because I

Danna Levy Hoffmann: for the adult and you're the one.

for the adult because was no one on the tram.

I was like, what are the kids talking about?

There's no one, you know, and then they come to me.

I was like, fuck.

But I mean, they were super nice.

They wanted to sell their, self muffins for a good cause.

And, Thankfully it was nothing major.

You know, that required an actual adult.

I was, I was really thinking,

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah.

poof.

That was an easy one.

You know, I got away.

But

so.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Life life just gets you, I don't know, it's kinda

like I keep telling my kids, my kids are, you know, teenagers soon, 18.

And I keep telling them, I'm like, look, this time right now it's gonna fly by you.

And all of a sudden you're my age and you're laughing about me being old.

You're gonna be there like really within a split second.

So just take advantage of this time.

Enjoy your life, you know, be a kid when you can be a kid.

But yeah, it does go very quickly.

And then I think the realization that we're adults is when

our parents need help.

When all of a sudden the tables are turned right, and now all of

a sudden, I don't know someone's ill or someone needs more help.

Or you realize, oh wow, they're, they're getting old.

Like they need more help or they need support where they never

needed support 'cause they were the superhero that you saw them as.

So yeah, it's a bit of a mind fuck.

I don't have any, any sugarcoating on that one, unfortunately.

It's just, it's just a mind fuck

Yeah.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: find.

No other way to explain it.

Yeah.

But what do you think?

What?

Yes.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah, so, so I'm just curious, um, what do you

think would be something doable for you, achievable for you?

Until our next call where you feel that you, you know, I, again, I

feel like you've achieved, well, you know, like sure, we, not

necessarily what we discussed, but it doesn't actually matter because

you tick things off your to-do list.

What do you feel that you can.

Tackle and even if it's just crying, I will be like, yes, please.

Okay.

Okay.

So just understand the, the what is it that you think we can set as a goal

for you that will be achievable and will feel good, and will feel doable.

So not, not overwhelming, not, not too much for you right now.

Yeah, I think, I think some healthy grieving would be good.

I'm thinking about like the priorities.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: You are the priority.

By the way, I don't know if I, that.

yeah.

Yeah, I guess healthy grieving would be good.

And maybe if I manage to let it all out, yeah.

The funerals on Wednesday, I will not be able to be.

Present in person, I will definitely like, take, take my time also

off work, to be there in spirit.

This is how one would say it in English, I don't know.

Just, you know, to, some time to think of my family over there and to

think of her and then, and then maybe.

Our next appointment is in two weeks.

and then

Danna Levy Hoffmann: I think so.

practice will have called me back and I will have managed

to finalize an appointment.

That would also be nice, like a

bonus

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah.

I mean, I'm,

me,

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Oh look, apparently we have a month,

so you have even more time

Oh,

Danna Levy Hoffmann: because Yeah, that's true.

I didn't cancel our last call.

Um, so that's perfect.

I, I love those goals.

I think they're super important you know, I can't promise that the

grieving will take the pain away.

But it will take extra pain that is unnecessary away, if that makes sense.

Yeah, that does.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Right.

So it does feel a little bit better to not block the emotions.

if I can give you maybe one more goal, just so that you're prepared for the

meeting with the doctor, which I think will help you also to maybe put some

things in your head, and you can use the health history that you sent us because

there you'll have some of the things, and that might trigger more things, is

just to make a list very simple on your phone, something that you can pull out.

As soon as you're sitting there with her, make a list of your symptoms.

And it doesn't matter if they're gut related or not, that it doesn't matter

if they're emotional, mental or not.

Please tell her all the things.

Okay.

You mentioned to us that your energy and you feel like you're not the same

person and, and all of those things.

Please mention all of that to her.

Okay.

Because she's a very, she's a very good detective.

Okay, I'm gonna write a note to myself in the chat.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yes.

Okay.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: And Tina, the one thing that I really want

you to keep in mind, always, always, tomorrow is another day.

So even when you sit there and you go, you know, you're about to go

to sleep and you're like, ah, shit.

Again, I didn't send Danna the whatever what I eat, it's okay.

But then like the next day you have that opportunity again , So the fact

that you miss a day, don't let that drag you down, but rather be like,

okay, cool, tomorrow's a new slate.

I wake up and I make the new decisions and I make, you know, might be ease, better

decisions for myself and might not be.

And all of them are okay.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Okay,

you.

That makes me feel better.

It's nice that someone is there.

That doesn't make me, yeah, I make myself feel instead of making

myself feel better at the moment.

At least, you know, used to be so different.

You know?

there was a time when I was going to bed, it was like, oh my God, yes.

I rocked it, you know?

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Let me guess.

That was in your twenties.

yeah, it was, no, it was, yeah, it was my twenties.

In my

Danna Levy Hoffmann: There you go.

it was late

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah,

It was late twenties.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: I.

early twenties, I would feel if I would've partied all night long.

You know, I would be like,

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Exactly.

I survived and I, yeah.

didn't miss, I didn't miss anything.

You know, I did it all yeah.

now,

now I would give so much just to be able to sleep.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah.

I was telling my daughter the other day I was talking to her.

Somewhere in the public.

And then she was, we were talking about sleeping, you know, that

she doesn't want to sleep.

And I was like, honey sleeping is so wonderful.

Sleeping is like the best thing in the world, you know?

is so beautiful.

You know, one of the best things in life is sleeping

Danna Levy Hoffmann: And you're starting to tear up.

That's when you cry, right?

Like, I wanna sleep too.

Yeah.

and then she was like.

yeah, but I don't know.

I don't wanna be in the stroller.

I was like, you don't, no, you don't have to be in the stroller.

But you know what I would give to have a stroller like you to just

snuggle in whenever, wherever, and be like, I'm out and just sleep.

Oh my God.

You know?

And then there was someone, I didn't, I didn't look up because I was paying

attention to my child, but I could see in the periphery that some people were like.

and some of them were like a bit like snickering, you know?

And I would

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah.

know what I'm talking about.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah, exactly.

Tina, you reminded me about the sleep and I just wanna give like, just one

last kind of sentence that might help just until we understand more with

the test results and stuff like that.

I'm just gonna shoot him at you.

Mm-hmm.

Danna Levy Hoffmann: him in mind, take a note, but it's just things to try.

Um, one of them is grounding.

I know it's gonna sound wacky, tobay, but if you have access to like.

Just before you go to bed to stand 10 minutes on ground barefoot.

I don't know if you guys have a garden or something like that, that

you can just literally like a maniac.

Just stand there.

I don't care what you do.

Okay.

do,

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Um, okay, perfect.

So try that.

You know what?

I'm not even gonna give you anything else then.

Try that.

Try 10 minutes before going to bed.

Just standing outside barefoot on the grass or on the ground.

Oh,

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Okay.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna set myself a reminder, like a

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah.

I

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Yeah.

You can do it throughout the day as well.

It's quite helpful towards, towards, before going to sleep, just to

give you a little bit more Yeah.

Grounding so that you can hopefully fall asleep better.

But I'll have some other ideas for you next time.

And how do you feel with, with our call today and the goals?

Do you have any concerns or do you feel like you can tackle those and do you feel

like it's okay when you don't manage?

That's the most important.

Yeah.

Yes to both.

I, I feel good.

And, um.

Not that I don't like talking to you, but I was kind of relieved to

remember that it's, it's in four weeks.

So I think I will manage all of those, all of those things.

I'm looking forward, you know, to be able to tell you, ah, you know, I did this,

I did that, and I'm also gonna be fine if it's, you know, if something else

happens, as it probably always will,

Danna Levy Hoffmann: Oh good.

Don't forget that this is recorded, so I will show you when you tell me

next time, ah, I didn't, I failed.

I'm gonna be like, Nope.

No you didn't.

Okay, love.

Thank you so much for jumping on the call.

I'm sorry again about your grandmother, but I hope that

just mourning properly will help.

Yeah.

Thank you.